Clever And Witty Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the ‘Three Stooges’ were geniuses. They’d have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

Nixon’s motto was, if two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.

The second mouse gets the cheese!

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese