Funny Fathers Day Quotes

Funny Fathers Day Quotes by Bill Cosby, Ann Richards, Aeschylus, John Gregory Brown, Friedrich Schiller, Bertrand Russell and many others.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is s

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Bill Cosby
I have always had the feeling I could do anything and my dad told me I could. I was in college before I found out he might be wrong.
Ann Richards
“Reverence for parents” stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness.
Aeschylus
There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.
John Gregory Brown
It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons.
Friedrich Schiller
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
Bertrand Russell
Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development.
David Gottesman
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Jimmy Piersall
When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.
Jerry Lewis
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
Ray Romano
If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.
James A. Baldwin
He’s [Harry S. Truman] just your dad, and you love him. It’s only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home – it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love. My father was a great man.
Margaret Truman Daniel
To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.
Ernest Hemingway
When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
William Shakespeare
My father was a statesman, I’m a political woman. My father was a saint. I’m not.
Indira Gandhi
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld