Funny New Years Quotes by John Selden, Edgar Guest, W. H. Auden, Anais Nin, Oprah Winfrey, Brad Paisley and many others.
Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.
A happy New Year! Grant that I May bring no tear to any eye When this New Year in time shall end Let it be said I’ve played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here, And made of it a happy year.
The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.
New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been
Every new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice.
