Funny Wedding Advice Quotes

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Husbands are like fires – they go out when they’re left unattended.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.