H. L. Mencken Quotes.
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other’s speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.