Stand Up Comedian Quotes

To be No. 1 on the ‘New York Times’ best-seller list, well, that’s alarming. Having been a stand-up comedian, I think it’s surprising to a lot of people that I had the insight I had.

I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw ‘How to be a Stand-up Comedian,’ it resonated. I realized I’d rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

I don’t consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there’s a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I’ll do it.

I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up.

I’m best known as a stand-up comedian, but I’m a good actor in the right role.

I don’t think of myself as funny – I don’t fill up a room with my humor… I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

And what is the reaction of the British politcal class? Well the Lib Dems, still think that the Euro is a success! I don’t quiet think where Cleggy gets this from, I don’t know. Prehaps he is cosidering an alternative career, as a stand up comedian, once he’s out of politics.

Meal isn’t over when I’m full. Meal’s over when I hate myself.

Branne’s [Pavlovic] parents wanted him to become a taxi driver, but he became a stand-up comedian instead. So they died of shame.

I do films which get me out of my comedian routine so that I don’t get bored being a stand-up comedian. And with films, it’s here today, gone tomorrow. So stand-up comedy is here to stay for me.

I was a stand-up comedian for 10 years, if you can believe it. And I gave it up at age 22.

I’m a stand-up comedian-turned-actor-turned-vampire at night.

A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think.

I usually just say I’m a stand-up comedian, but I use looping machines to create ideas with my voice.

Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

I spent 25 years as a stand-up comedian.

I also could see myself as a stand-up comedian, a fashion designer (for people of all sizes), a hairdresser, an earnest and eventually burnt-out politician, or the owner of a small bistro. But I fear that, without poetry, I would have simply been going through the motions.