Tell Your Wife Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield, Adam Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Lopez, Stephen King and many others.
Never tell your wife she’s bad in bed. She’ll go out and get a second opinion.
Husband, when you tell your wife to go for counseling alone (because you think going to see a counselor is a sign you have failed) is like having a car you love overheat and deciding it’s not manly to take it to the mechanic. You can keep on driving it but eventually you will ruin the engine.
Politics is not really different from marriage. You cannot get things done in your relationship if you tell your wife: Look, if you haven’t made the bed and if you don’t get the food on the table, I will go and just hire someone and you will become irrelevant. That is not how you make a marriage work.
The jewelry stores say, ‘Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,’ while wives tell you they love you with, ‘Ok, but just because it’s Valentine’s Day.’
I don’t want to just mess with your head. I want to mess with your life…. I want you to miss appointments, burn dinner, skip your homework. I want you to tell your wife to take that moonlight stroll on the beach at Waikiki with the resort tennis pro while you read a few more chapters.